Monday 31 August 2009

love

I've not been posting in a while as I've felt that i could not hear God. I realised that he can hear me all the time and he loves to watch us, hear us, whisper to us, let us feel his presence... I cant wait to explode, as I've felt like i have been staying struggled up and not letting my personality, creatively shine through, i believe the one reason for this is my job, as I've been feeling like a robot in it. however today i had such peace, joy in my work, it made me realise that God has not went anywhere, i had this fire in my belly, where i could take on the world and still be smiling, it was brillant- as i knew, I'm not alone, my God well never let go of me... just blew me away...

Sunday 5 July 2009

Last day....

Hey, today in church we were talking about if I today was your last day, what would you do? I thought about it, I was a bit disappointed as I've not really done loads with me life, but it made we realise that ive made all these plans for my life, but where is God in them all. Sometimes i plan my life ahead but don't ask the big lad upstairs what he thinks.. Ive been living and doing what i want but i sometimes don't know what he wants me to do, ive been too busy with me life... i read somewere, cant remember were but if we are too busy, then we are way too busy than God created us to be.. Im just thinking out loud here....

Wednesday 24 June 2009

More

Hey, im just back from a very productive prayer time with some people from me church, its such a good time for us at church as i feel that God is calling us to walk together as a group, hundle in together, now some people are longer saved than others but that really inspires me as i see what God has done for them in their lives and im just looking for more of God in my life... I can be honest, as its me own blog which i will prob read one day over and see my journey, i was feeling 'right God give me something ere' let me be probehtic in my vision and my words but i was not seeing anything. so i felt a little bit, like i was not seeing God but when i prayed for people who had a real problem and needed healed now, i felt that God was letting me make a choice, i could sit and wait or i could pray for things that needed it...

Sunday 21 June 2009

Hope

Yesturday we went to Craigavon lakes to a Hope concert. The concert was amazing but what really struck with me was the way the youth were right up the front and did not care about anyone else. I loved this at it showed me that the youth is growing, yes in our church but also throughout Ireland as they wont afraid of shouting, dancing, praising God... The presence of God was brillant he knows when to show up, when i got home i thought i was drunk on the holy spirit., im still buzzing today, even though me legs are sore but that wont stope me from worshiping today.. Yesturday i met two wee new dance partners, two wee kids, God blessed me so much through these two, so much energy, happy, joyful, loved them too.. I've been having some trouble with what God wants me to do with my life and i felt God saying this is your call, work with kids and i know he has the timing in his kids... im getting excited for us as a church, for my marriage with david, everything of what God is doing and planning...

Wednesday 17 June 2009

fellowship





Last night we had a Nic Nac nite with all the girls from church, the fellowship we have in our church I feel is amazing, as i can be myself and express how i'm feeling and they won't judge me. i just felt God squeezing the women together more tightly, as sometimes as women we shut off as we feel no one understands but last night God made me realise with somethings I'm going through, that I'm not alone, other people are also going throught the same stuff... or most people have already through it on their journey. As a wise friend of mime said 'let's take off the fake bake,' look good naked' with God and one another... I wanna be the real me God created me to be. I'm working along with God by dealing with some stuff from my past, from now which is not really easy but when you can be yourself and trust God, i just feel like im not doing it alone.

Saturday 13 June 2009

home alone

Today im home alone as David is away with Dave getting his car in Newcastle, I never really liked being along but from I got saved I have become to like it alot more has i know im not alone. I've been doing some reading and i never realised just how much information the bible as, its amazing, im enjoying it so much, i really should read more of it thou.. God is helping me make big steps at the moment even though i walk one step first and fall back by two, its a working progress... Im going to be honest i suffer with bad mood swings, well not really mood swings, really bad tempers and one word can set me off, i know God does not want me to live like this though and i don't either... I wanna leave the old me behind and embrace on the me God has been wanting me to get intouch with. Sometimes I cant see the change in me from when i became a christian but listening to Joyce, she has made me realise that i actually have but sometimes the devil underminds us...

Monday 8 June 2009

New days ahead

Over the last while ive been struggling with myself, i thought that God was no where to be found, maybe he was having alittle game of hide and seek but i could not find... so yesturday when David asked me to marry him, (still in shock now, lol) i could feel the peace in my heart, i just thought God you are there, i felt so much peace and calmness yest, thanks to David and God... im so looking forward to spending my life with my two best friends and i could hardly sleep with excitment last nite...
Also today i felt all good and could feel God so much so i really wanted to share it with someone, but i was so nervous and the butterflies were kicking in, i kept saying, on my way to work at 7 this morning, right ill tell this person, then no i cant tell this person. So i got into work and i was going to bust with excitement as God loves me so much, i just wanted to tell someont, that God loves them that much too... i build up me courage and there is a wee polish women in my work and i thought lets do this, so i said Do you know that God loves you so much, (give her a big hug) no matter what you do or say he will still love you. i was in fire on the instead...
lately i have felt that i cant overly talk about God in my work as nobody is christans, so today really blessed me so much as i was talking about our church and the youth group. we have a work experience girl in who is a christan and has only become one over the last 4 months. i said its tough but keep at it as its worth it, it was brill for me to talk about God and having relationships with him, i loved it...